When You Want To Make A Change

A few tips on making changes in your life:

Opening note:

It's your life. Nobody else's. The purest form of motivation can only come from within yourself. The truest form of acceptance and self-worth can only come from you. True happiness can only come from yourself. If you ever want to truly make a change, you need to accept responsibility for your self-worth, your happiness, and your own will to succeed.

Beginning:

So, you're struggling with school or a job. You're overweight. Your room is a mess. You have very little self-esteem. You're shy and have few friends. You know a change needs to happen and maybe you've tried and failed in the past.

Little secret: People making the most lasting improvements when staying within their comfort zone, but pushing the boundaries of it - expanding it.

So, where do you start?

1. Your room/house. It's something within your grasp right now and it shouldn't be too expensive to buy cleaning supplies.

• When you clean your messy home, it will give you a sense of accomplishment, especially if the mess was really bad.
• Depending on how bad it is, you can be done within a few hours. Two days maximum unless your house looks like an episode of Hoarders.
• The result will be a clean, nice-smelling house. This means you will be living (for at least the next few days) in a nice environment. When your house is a mess, it's just another thing on your to-do list and the chaos and disorder of it may cause you stress or dismay. The clean environment will give you one less thing to worry about, and a positive environment to spend your time in.

2. Your clothes/personal hygiene.

• If you feel dumpy, go buy some new clothes and perfume/cologne and make sure you're taking care of your personal hygiene.
• I don't care how unattractive you may think you are, there are clothes out there that will flatter your body shape and look really good on you.
• What's the point of this? When you look in the mirror and see how great you look in that new outfit, you get a confidence boost.
• When you look and smell good, you generally feel good as a result plus people will get a better impression of you and will actually be more likely to be open to the idea of talking to you. Call it shallow if you will, but it's the way people work. To your average person, when someone looks or smells weird, it indicates to them at some level that something is wrong with you and they should stay away. It's just animal instincts.

3. Your attitude.

• Everything from here takes an attitude change. You need to be happy, confident, and committed if you want to progress.
• Happiness: smile more. Seriously. Just force it. Smiling releases positive endorphins that will actually make you feel happy, as well as making you more approachable.
• Anxiety: You can't let it rule your life and you can't always eliminate the things that cause you anxiety. Learn to deal with it. Do breathing exercises, listen to calming music, and learn to use logic when you feel yourself getting worked up over nothing.
• Confidence: Wear your new clothes. Smile. Stand up straight. Hold your head high. Copy the way confident people walk. These things subconsciously will trick you into feeling confident. If you make it a habit, your fake confidence will develop into real confidence and people will find you even more approachable.
• Discipline: when you commit to something, do it. do it consistantly every day for 30 days. Then it will become a habit. Don't expect it to be easy and keep your end goals in mind. Don't think "Ugh this is so difficult... This takes so much effort..." think instead "This is difficult, but it will all be worth it when I reach my goal." and then push through it.

4. Your job/school

• Apply all of these things.
• Use the confidence you've practiced to socialize with coworkers or classmates and make connections.
• Use your discipline to get your work done and excel.
• Use your happiness and anxiety techniques to stay calm when you're having a stressful day or facing a challenge.

5. Your health.

• If you're aiming to get healthier, make a plan and stick to it.
• Exercise discipline and self-control by counting calories and working out consistently.
• Exercise confidence by being unafraid to jog down the street or go to the gym.
• Don't let your fear keep you from reaching your goals. It could be a fear of failure or it could be a fear of change... or even a fear of being attractive, as ridiculous as it sounds.
• Always consult a physician before starting a diet or exercise regimen so they can make sure you're ready for it and help you pick the best route of action.
• If you have concerns about your physical, mental, or emotional health, seek help from a professional. Something you've been ignoring for a while could be an actual threat to your health. Something you're concerned about could really be nothing to worry about, but you can't know for sure. Better safe than sorry.